Vulnerable Post 2.0

VULNERABLE LONG POST ALERT. Love it or hate it...here is the DEAD HONEST TRUTH.
Yes I have the Goal to lose 10 lbs by Thanksgiving. Dont freak out people. SO..for those of you who might think WHERE are those 10 lbs going to come from...lets talk about 3 words for a minute that I almost consider swear words. the S word. The F word...and the W word.
Skinny. Fat. And WEIGHT!!!

Lets start with my 16 yr old self for a minute. I grew up ATHLETIC, strong, and fairly thin. I always had a MUSCULAR body. It didnt bother me. My mom had a muscular body. And you should SEE her water ski!! I grew up empowered by her strength and awesomeness. I never questioned it. Never worried about my WEIGHT. I never thought I was fat. or skinny really. I just was.

Untill one day in cheerleading we were chosing who got to do what....and they asked the question "Well how much do YOU WEIGH???" I wasnt sure I even KNEW the exact answer . But I all I knew was NOW...that NUMBER was more important than my athletic ability. I was DEVASTATED.

I went home and told my mom. She said "Missy. YOU have a LOT of muscle!!! You will ALWAYS weigh more than another girl your size."

And it began...obsession with WEIGHT. Its no ones fault. Its just how our society WORKS. I began to associate what I could do with WEIGHT. And the word FAT snuck into my brain.

My sister on the other hand had many gifts I lacked. Grace, coordination, and a "BALLERINA BODY." Around this same time I rememeber people accusing her that she didn't eat to be skinny. (which has never been true. WE BOTH LOVE FOOD).

I have actually worked with a lot of "Skinny" moms this past year whom are painfully accused of starving...and who are treated with such hurtful accusations...like being THIN is their FAULT.

So your NOT ok if you're FAT....but you're not ok if YOU'RE SKINNY either??

What the HECK is the world DOING TO US WOMEN!!!!???? ENOUGH ALREADY.

FAST FORWARD through the MANY painful learning experience of my life. Starving, throwing up, running for miles and miles and miles, eating too much and hating myself for it, gaining weight having babies and agonizing over it...working my butt off to get "skinny" again.....I am here.

I am a mom of 4. I am STRONG and I am Muscular.

I LOVE my body for the 4 babies it has given me and for the ability it gives me to KEEP UP with them.
I am not a bikini competitor. I am not a BODY BUILDER. I am not a competitive ANYTHING. Not that I couldnt be its just not my thing.

I AM MY ONLY COMPETITION. THE END.

When I set a goal for my body...it is for ME and ME alone.

I do NOT define myself by a NUMBER ON A SCALE!! Truth I dont even know what my body fat percentage is!!!

I do LOVE to PUSH my body. it makes me feel HAPPY to workout and KNOW that I am at my VERY VERY BEST physically, mentally and emotionally.

Its a DAILY JOURNEY. There is ebb and flow to it.

Perfectionism is POISON in the search of happiness. Its a MYTH. AN UNATTAINABLE standard.

I will NEVER EVER EVER be perfect. And thats GREAT. Because that means I always have ways to improve and things to learn.

I am a PROGRESSIONIST. I strive for PROGRESS.

I go backwards at times,,and then push forward again. And sometimes I hover in status quo. AND THAT''S LIFE!!! And its OK!!!

So....I feed my body right, I workout almost everyday, and I love myself along the way.

I try to keep myself in BALANCE. I surround myself with people who LOVE and SUPPORT ME. ESPECIALLY those Who will call me on it when I get out of balance.

I FIGHT to NOT obsess about the little things like the NUMBERS (because every girl know that they fluctuate ALL MONTH LONG anyway... you know what I mean) I FOCUS ON HOW I FEEL...and making PROGRESS.

THERE IS NO PERFECT BODY.....for me...I don't even have a "GOAL BODY".

THE ONLY GOAL I HAVE is to be the BEST version of MYSELF at any given time.
Specifically I'd like to add some serious definition to my shoulders too 

This summer we moved to a different state, my husband graduated and started a new job, I work an online business that I LOVE coaching other moms, and I have 4 kids.

I am BUSY. So there are going to be more stressful times and not so stressful times. There are times when I can be in PUSH mode and times when I am in SURVIVAL mode.

SO....NOW....I am getting a little more settled....so I can go BACK INTO PUSH MODE where I was last spring. I can focus a little more on MYSELF.

So that means dropping some body fat. And thanks to all my muscle, and everything I have learned about MY Body...I can do so rather quickly if I do it right.

AND I will do it in a healthy balanced way.

SO.....If you want to lose 10 lbs...I can help you do that. But YOUR 10 lbs WILL look different from MY 10 lbs. Your goals will NEVER be my goals. And that's how it SHOULD BE.

AND

The #1 goal should always be BALANCE. THE END.

Not weight. Not dress size, not body fat percentage.

THROW OUT the words FAT, SKINNY, and WEIGHT

FOCUS ON HAPPINESS and BALANCE.

Now...can you HAVE a fitter version of you body INSIDE that BALANCE?? YES. YOU CAN. YOU SHOULD SET SPECIFIC GOALS AND YOU SHOULD learn to push yourself to be healthier and fitter. BUT without being OBSESSED or unhealthy. AND LOVING YOURSELF RIGHT where you ARE NOW and all a long the way.

So...I will share my STATS with you just so you know that I am not PERFECT either.

High school weight 117 lbs
Lowest weight since baby #4 123 lbs ( I will never go lower. Thats as LOW as I go..it was too low for me)
My "LEAN MEAN" weight 125 lbs PHOTO SHOOT weight
My current weight 134.4 lbs (I'm size 4/6 and I am 5' 6" in case you're wondering.totally a healthy happy number for me.)

MY IDEAL (for this year my GOAL) .....around 127. Less fat more muscle. Less of my "lazy abs" and back to "crazy abs" Just me...and MY GOAL.

Which means I will have to drop about 7-10 lbs of fat...then add muscle. Or a little of both simultaneously with DIALED in nutrient intake.

THAT'S MY GOAL.

NOW...whats YOUR GOAL???