Will you FALL??? Or will you FLY???

I'm a WORRIER. Always have been. I have spent TOO many years wrapped up in my "What ifs", "Should I or Shouldnt I" and "What will people think". 

There comes a point in your life where you MUST MAKE A CHOICE. To live by FAITH ...or LIVE BY FEAR.

To put your toes on the edge of the cliff...spread your wings...and JUMP.

Will you FALL??? Or will you FLY???

You wont EVER KNOW....UNLESS YOU TRY!!!!

I told MY coach Brigitte Linford NO....I think 8 times when she encouraged me to COACH for Team Beachbody. I was a AFRAID. I wanted to help people....I had already changed my OWN body and my OWN life with Beachbody products.....but I didnt want to leave my OWN COMFORT ZONE.

Until one day I got tired. TIRED of wonder WHAT IF. Tired of playing small. Those who change the world...are the ones who believe they can. BUT ONLY IF THEY GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Just like the Bible says....FAITH with out WORKS...is dead.

The world needs you. As scary as that feels sometimes.....

FIND YOUR PASSION...YOUR PURPOSE....and PUSH YOURSELF.

My team of ONE (me)....in just over 18 months.....has turned into a team of MANY.

We are mostly MOMS ( and dads)...

but TEAM ROCKIT IS ON A MISSION.

Learn....LEAD....AND LOVE the heck out of everyone.

There is a REASON our team is ranked #38 out of over 230,000 coaches. BECAUSE WE LOVE WHAT WE DO....and WE LOVE EACH OTHER.

Sometimes I look at my life and I'm in awe. HOW DID I GET HERE???

I wanted to be nurse since I was 4. I graduated with my RN at age 19. I loved working with sick children in the hospital for 12 years. I worked 12 hour nights through 4 pregnancies (in 7 years).

After baby # 4 I WAS SO TIRED. I needed to take care of me.....SO I DID INSANITY (because naturally If I'm gonna DO something...I'm gonna DO IT!!)

I lost 35 lbs!!!!! I was in the best shape of my life.....and LOVING IT. I wanted every MOM OUT THERE to feel how I felt!!! SO I STARTED TELLING EVERYONE....and NATURALLY....I was lead to coaching.

FINALLY...I said yes....and became a coach.

THANK HEAVENS I DECIDED TO LEAP!!!!

Did I ever imagine that I would QUIT at the hospital and be working from HOME???
Matching my husband's salary??
Traveling all over the world??
ALL by daily Helping other MOMS change their lives??
Be surrounded by a TEAM I LOVE to work with??

Nope.

But it's HAPPENING.

IT is a GIFT and I am SO GRATEFUL.

So...if you want to know WHAT BEACHBODY COACHING IS
How to CHANGE YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR LIFE....
How to make income from home doing a job you LOVE
How to stay accountable to your OWN fitness goals....
or are you are JUST REALLY CURIOUS......

Send me a message. (Like RIGHT NOW.. I'm going on a date tonight. haha)

It is not rocket science...it is not magic...and it is not a SCHEME. It is just AWESOME.

We are TEAM RockIt. Get ready....because this Team is about to change the WORLD. Come join us.....and change your future.

Me First!!

The alarm goes off at 4:30. I want to cry. My warm handsome husband asleep next to me....and a day FULL of responsibilities and a mile long to do list of things that HAVE to be done today.
I press snooze and close my eyes and begin to pray. That God will give ME the strength to get up and get things done. 'Cause heaven knows I'd rather sleep!!!

This morning I'm sitting here...eating my breakfast..listening to an audiobook. Spending a little time with God..and ME!!!!

Yes...today I'm putting ME first!!!!!!!! Selfish?!! I used to think so. I was raised to be a self sacrificing Christian. I truly believed that putting others first...always would SAVE MY SOUL.
The words of the childhood poem by Shel Silvetstein "ME FIRST" about a spoiled rotten little girl who always put herself first...and got eaten by a hungry Giant are memorized and deeply engrained in my mind. I can recite the whole darn poem!!!! Moral of the poem?!! Don't be selfish!!! Never. Ever. Ever!!!
As I've grown.. I felt I was pretty good at that!! I love God...so I dedicated myself to service. Just like my amazing parents!!! I quickly became a pediatric nurse, then a devoted and very young wife, then a joyous and very young mother. All by choice. All are a wondrous blessings. All gifts from God!!

BUT....I got TIRED. Working nights starting IVs and being puked on...coming home and taking care of small wonderful mess makers..then trying to care for my handsome and hardworking husband as he worked full time or slaved in school to better our lives. I have whole heartedly tried to serve friends..at church...my neighbors...the homeless guy.....and who got left out?!?!

ME!!!! I forgot to take care of me!??

So you can imagine....I got very very very Tired. I suddenly began to resent everyone I loved to serve. I began to feel panic that I would never ever ever be good enough...because I couldn't do everything for everyone...because I was human..and I was exhausted. Instead of being engaged in my life...I wanted to RUN from it. I became depressed, disengaged...and resentful of the people I filled my life with...by choice...to serve. Then a little voice..in my heart...GOD...gave me permission...to put ME first.
So....I did. And I can't ever go back. I RAN away from my life. Literally. As fast as possible. Thank you Nike.

In fact.....

I run away from my life....frequently. Just ask my husband how many days he walks in the door and I hand him a fit throwing child and walk out with headphones and a playlist and run like Hell!!!!! Often. You can ask my neighbors...I always sprint the first 10 blocks in sheer desperation for a little personal space!!!!
And you know what!?! It's NOT selfish!!!!!

Sometimes I even pay babysitters to go get a spray tan ...or just go to the grocery store...ALONE!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes...I even lock the door when I shower and I pretend to not hear my kids fighting and begging for a string cheese for 5 minutes. And when someone calls to ask me to volunteer for something.....I NEVER say yes! (I say...thanks for asking I will have to check my schedule and get back to you!!!)

I am FINALLY learning to put ME FIRST!!!! My relationship with God...my health...my sanity.
I discovered an amazing truth.... that I matter too!!! God loves ME too!!! So I can help myself sometimes!!!!

And if I want to serve and love with a heart full of passion and purpose....my own heart needs to be centered, full of peace...and fulfillment. That only comes by taking care of ME!!!!!!!
That being said... I often get up super early to give time to myself ....or I pay a babysitter. It's a sacrifice to take care of Me.

But I refuse to be unhappy because I never filled my own cup of happiness. And you know what?!!! God multiplies my efforts. Sure..I would still put my life on the line if asked to save my child....but on a daily basis...I've got to save myself too!!!

So....this morning I'm sitting in the quiet listening to the book "Youre a Badass" (yes..I'm listening to a book that swears. Because I can be a Christian..and a badass). I am eating my breakfast...wrapped in a Santa snuggie....and then I am going to workout..and maybe get to my inbox...all before 7.

Because today....I put ME FIRST. And I'm not going to get eaten by a Giant for doing so...I'm not going to Hell...and I'm not selfish.

I'm smart. And I'm happy.

......and to explain the picture....if I were to build my own world...selfishly...just for myself....it would be purple. It's the place I go in my mind. And it's also full of warm rain, roller skates, dark chocolate, tall quiet mountains, and an ocean filled with mermaids and dolphins!! It's my ME first happy place

Vulnerable Post 2.0

VULNERABLE LONG POST ALERT. Love it or hate it...here is the DEAD HONEST TRUTH.
Yes I have the Goal to lose 10 lbs by Thanksgiving. Dont freak out people. SO..for those of you who might think WHERE are those 10 lbs going to come from...lets talk about 3 words for a minute that I almost consider swear words. the S word. The F word...and the W word.
Skinny. Fat. And WEIGHT!!!

Lets start with my 16 yr old self for a minute. I grew up ATHLETIC, strong, and fairly thin. I always had a MUSCULAR body. It didnt bother me. My mom had a muscular body. And you should SEE her water ski!! I grew up empowered by her strength and awesomeness. I never questioned it. Never worried about my WEIGHT. I never thought I was fat. or skinny really. I just was.

Untill one day in cheerleading we were chosing who got to do what....and they asked the question "Well how much do YOU WEIGH???" I wasnt sure I even KNEW the exact answer . But I all I knew was NOW...that NUMBER was more important than my athletic ability. I was DEVASTATED.

I went home and told my mom. She said "Missy. YOU have a LOT of muscle!!! You will ALWAYS weigh more than another girl your size."

And it began...obsession with WEIGHT. Its no ones fault. Its just how our society WORKS. I began to associate what I could do with WEIGHT. And the word FAT snuck into my brain.

My sister on the other hand had many gifts I lacked. Grace, coordination, and a "BALLERINA BODY." Around this same time I rememeber people accusing her that she didn't eat to be skinny. (which has never been true. WE BOTH LOVE FOOD).

I have actually worked with a lot of "Skinny" moms this past year whom are painfully accused of starving...and who are treated with such hurtful accusations...like being THIN is their FAULT.

So your NOT ok if you're FAT....but you're not ok if YOU'RE SKINNY either??

What the HECK is the world DOING TO US WOMEN!!!!???? ENOUGH ALREADY.

FAST FORWARD through the MANY painful learning experience of my life. Starving, throwing up, running for miles and miles and miles, eating too much and hating myself for it, gaining weight having babies and agonizing over it...working my butt off to get "skinny" again.....I am here.

I am a mom of 4. I am STRONG and I am Muscular.

I LOVE my body for the 4 babies it has given me and for the ability it gives me to KEEP UP with them.
I am not a bikini competitor. I am not a BODY BUILDER. I am not a competitive ANYTHING. Not that I couldnt be its just not my thing.

I AM MY ONLY COMPETITION. THE END.

When I set a goal for my body...it is for ME and ME alone.

I do NOT define myself by a NUMBER ON A SCALE!! Truth I dont even know what my body fat percentage is!!!

I do LOVE to PUSH my body. it makes me feel HAPPY to workout and KNOW that I am at my VERY VERY BEST physically, mentally and emotionally.

Its a DAILY JOURNEY. There is ebb and flow to it.

Perfectionism is POISON in the search of happiness. Its a MYTH. AN UNATTAINABLE standard.

I will NEVER EVER EVER be perfect. And thats GREAT. Because that means I always have ways to improve and things to learn.

I am a PROGRESSIONIST. I strive for PROGRESS.

I go backwards at times,,and then push forward again. And sometimes I hover in status quo. AND THAT''S LIFE!!! And its OK!!!

So....I feed my body right, I workout almost everyday, and I love myself along the way.

I try to keep myself in BALANCE. I surround myself with people who LOVE and SUPPORT ME. ESPECIALLY those Who will call me on it when I get out of balance.

I FIGHT to NOT obsess about the little things like the NUMBERS (because every girl know that they fluctuate ALL MONTH LONG anyway... you know what I mean) I FOCUS ON HOW I FEEL...and making PROGRESS.

THERE IS NO PERFECT BODY.....for me...I don't even have a "GOAL BODY".

THE ONLY GOAL I HAVE is to be the BEST version of MYSELF at any given time.
Specifically I'd like to add some serious definition to my shoulders too 

This summer we moved to a different state, my husband graduated and started a new job, I work an online business that I LOVE coaching other moms, and I have 4 kids.

I am BUSY. So there are going to be more stressful times and not so stressful times. There are times when I can be in PUSH mode and times when I am in SURVIVAL mode.

SO....NOW....I am getting a little more settled....so I can go BACK INTO PUSH MODE where I was last spring. I can focus a little more on MYSELF.

So that means dropping some body fat. And thanks to all my muscle, and everything I have learned about MY Body...I can do so rather quickly if I do it right.

AND I will do it in a healthy balanced way.

SO.....If you want to lose 10 lbs...I can help you do that. But YOUR 10 lbs WILL look different from MY 10 lbs. Your goals will NEVER be my goals. And that's how it SHOULD BE.

AND

The #1 goal should always be BALANCE. THE END.

Not weight. Not dress size, not body fat percentage.

THROW OUT the words FAT, SKINNY, and WEIGHT

FOCUS ON HAPPINESS and BALANCE.

Now...can you HAVE a fitter version of you body INSIDE that BALANCE?? YES. YOU CAN. YOU SHOULD SET SPECIFIC GOALS AND YOU SHOULD learn to push yourself to be healthier and fitter. BUT without being OBSESSED or unhealthy. AND LOVING YOURSELF RIGHT where you ARE NOW and all a long the way.

So...I will share my STATS with you just so you know that I am not PERFECT either.

High school weight 117 lbs
Lowest weight since baby #4 123 lbs ( I will never go lower. Thats as LOW as I go..it was too low for me)
My "LEAN MEAN" weight 125 lbs PHOTO SHOOT weight
My current weight 134.4 lbs (I'm size 4/6 and I am 5' 6" in case you're wondering.totally a healthy happy number for me.)

MY IDEAL (for this year my GOAL) .....around 127. Less fat more muscle. Less of my "lazy abs" and back to "crazy abs" Just me...and MY GOAL.

Which means I will have to drop about 7-10 lbs of fat...then add muscle. Or a little of both simultaneously with DIALED in nutrient intake.

THAT'S MY GOAL.

NOW...whats YOUR GOAL???